• james
• Feb 4,2009
• In: Technology

Why I love my iPhone

1. My iPhone has flawless push mail for all 5 of my email accounts
2. My iPhone helps me jam out at the gym
3. My iPhone tells me the weather without forcing me to look outside
4. My iPhone never gets mad at me when I check out girls at the mall
5. My iPhone has crazy penguin catapult
6. My iPhone has LOLcats
7. I am never bored on the toilet
8. My iPhone has Paypal, so I can pay debts with annoying Internet money that people have to spend on eBay
9. My iPhone has eBay, so I can outbid you on the toilet (see above)
10. My iPhone has Facebook, so I can talk to hot college girls
11. My iPhone has MySpace, so I can talk to hot girls not smart enough for college (even better)
12. My iPhone tells me what time movies are playing without ever asking me to “press one for more options”
13. My iPhone fits comfortably in my front pocket
14. My iPhone fits comfortably in my back pocket
15. My iPhone could probably fit comfortably in a lot of places
16. My iPhone vibrates firmly
17. My iPhone gave me a reach around
18. My iPhone has Wordpress, so I could post to Alpha Mantra from it, but I never would because the keyboard would drive me insane, but I can look at the icon on my home-screen and pretend it’s useful
19. My iPhone holds photos (read homemade LOLcats)
20. My iPhone has Pandora Radio, but my stupid EDGE network P.O.S. can’t support it
21. My iPhone makes me feel important
22. My iPhone is shiny, and sometimes when the backlight is off I can see myself in it
23. My iPhone tells me I’m beautiful
24. My iPhone never asks me how many phones I was with before I started using the iPhone
25. My iPhone never asks me how many people I’ve slept with
26. My iPhone cannot perform oral sex on me, but I bet it wants to
27. My iPhone has a clogged headphone jack

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